All our programming as parents is to protect our children from harm, and here you find yourself alongside your child as they struggle with their ill health. You may feel powerless, frustrated, fearful, protective… you may run through a whole range of emotions on a daily, hourly basis. Your concern for them, your presence next to them, your voice talking to them, are all invaluable contributions you are making when it may feel that you can do so little. That may be part of your struggle – not feeling you are doing enough. At this time, your child needs more than you can possibly offer, that is why they are here with a team of people who can help them, so lean on them as you do your best to hold onto your anxiety and be there for your child.
Guidance from your chosen belief
Christian perspective
When a child is sick this can be an extremely anxious time for the family, particularly for parents who may experience a range of emotions from shock, anger, blame. It is important to express these feelings and to ask questions of the hospital staff, remembering to be respectful; they too want the best for the child. The best place to taking your worries and anxiety is to God in prayer. ‘The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.’ (Psalm 34:18). The Bible shows us that Jesus came to be alongside those who are suffering. He teaches us to ask him for healing and for strength to keep going. He also promises his peace even during tough times; Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27).
Muslim perspective
As Muslims we should exercise patience in adversity because this happens to be a test from Allah, because there is Divine wisdom when inflicted with illness. Abu Saeed al-Kurdi and Abu Hurairah companions of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) reported that the Messenger of Allah: “No tiredness, exhaustion, worry, grief, distress or harm befalls a believer in this world, not even a thorn that pricks him. Hazrat Ayesha the wife of the Prophet (pbuh) said whenever he got sick the Messenger of Allah use to recite the following Dua: (Prayer) “Oh Allah, Lord of mankind, do away with my suffering. Heal (me) as You are the only Healer and there is no cure except that of Yours, it is that which leaves no ailment behind.”
Humanist perspective
A child’s pain and anxiety penetrates deep in a parent’s inner life. It can be consuming but, at the same time, so frustrating if there is no way to make things better or to take away the pain or stop the anxiety. In this stressful time, it can be difficult to trust others to find the solutions and to make the decisions about your child. Your every instinct is to protect. But it is in the combination of medical expertise and kindness that solutions can be found in the joint endeavour to help your child through their current difficulties.
Sikh perspective
Seeing someone poorly is very difficult. Seeing one’s children going through a critical illness is even harder. However, the Guru Granth Sahib reminds us that we need to leave everything to the will of Parmatma (God). We are constantly reminded not to over worry. We are also reminded not to feel weak, once again Parmatma will look after us as we are all children of God. We are reminded that the one who has created us will guide us through this journey. The challenges that we are facing are all ones that we can get through as Parmatma will give us strength. Each individual should take guidance from praying. Take a hukamnama and recite the shabad over and over again. This will help you through this chapter of life.
Quote “why do you waver, o mortal being? The creator Lord himself shall protect you.” “the one who created the world, takes care of you.” GGS ang 724, Guru Arjan Dev Ji.
Hindu perspective
The prayers and worship to support their child’s health and well-being is quite comforting. There are many reasons for illness. However, there is an unseen cause of conditions known as Prarabdha or destiny behind the so-called causes. Whatever the cause, prayer in any form is highly efficacious and worship is doubtlessly significant. Prayer, as an action, certainly fulfils the need of the faithful person. Prayers along with Purusharth (actions in form of seeking and offering right treatment as a duty) is the way forward to deal with this situation. The outcome is accepted and considered as Prarabhdh (destiny) or Ishwar’s Prasadam as Ishwar’s wish for betterment of everyone in longer run. Prayers help to alleviate pain and anxiety and understanding the finite material body and eternal soul.
The duration of the individual living in this material world is finite and different for different individuals. When the person dies it is the death of material body. The soul which departs never dies and is eternal. As The Bhagwat Geeta says in chapter 2 shloka (verse) 23: “Naainam Na Chindanti Shashtrani,… “. The atma (soul ) is eternal: cannot be cut or killed with weapons or burnt with fire..).
Buddhist perspective
When a child is sick, you may find butterlamps or another form of light, (such as LED battery lamps) are helpful. Making offerings to save the lives of others can also be done and/or sponsored. And then dedicate the merit of those offerings to the baby and all connected and all others in similar situations. Additionally, during this time, parents and friends may read the Sutra of the Buddha Akshobhya or the Buddha Amitabha / Amitayus in order to increase the longevity of the life. The Buddha Akshobhya is known to purify any karmic obscurations that would be causes for the suffering.
Jewish perspective
Illness and death are part of the nature of the world and a critically ill child is not exempt, despite the heartbreaking nature of such a thing happening. Illness is not a punishment and tradition says that being with your sick child can take away at least some of their pain. You may feel angry with or distance from God: this legitimate and understandable. You may find it helpful to read Psalm 23, Psalm 121 or Psalm 130 or say the Prayer for the Sick (link to resources section). Take comfort from the people around you, may they partner with God in supporting you.
Pagan perspective
It is so hard to see your child suffering and be unable to do anything about it. Remember that we are all children of Gia: The Earth Mother. Allow Her to support you in this moment. Just as you care for your child, so She cares for us all. You might like to light a candle to Her and your ancestors and ask for help in staying strong during this challenging time.
While your child’s health is your first priority, don’t ignore your own health and needs. In looking after yourself you enable yourself to be your best when caring for your child.
Jain perspective
Consider this as the effect of karma attached to the child’s soul, resulting in ill health to the child. Recite prayers and Namokar Mantra in the child’s ears for peace to its soul.
Baha'i perspective
“Thou art He, O my God, through Whose names the sick are healed and the ailing are restored, and the thirsty
are given drink, and the sore-vexed are tranquillized, and the wayward are guided, and the abased are exalted, and the poor are enriched, and the ignorant are enlightened, and the gloomy are illumined, and the sorrowful are cheered, and the chilled are warmed, and the downtrodden are raised up. Through Thy name, O my God, all created things were stirred up, and the heavens were spread, and the earth was established, and the clouds were raised and made to rain upon the earth. This, verily, is a token of Thy grace unto all Thy creatures.
I implore Thee, therefore, by Thy name through which Thou didst manifest Thy Godhead, and didst exalt Thy Cause above all creation, and by each of Thy most excellent titles and most august attributes, and by all the virtues wherewith Thy transcendent and most exalted Being is extolled, to send down this night from the clouds of Thy mercy the rains of Thy healing upon this suckling, whom Thou hast related unto Thine all-glorious Self in the kingdom of Thy creation. Clothe him, then, O my God, by Thy grace, with the robe of well-being and health, and guard him, O my Beloved, from every affliction and disorder, and from whatever is obnoxious unto
Thee. Thy might, verily, is equal to all things. Thou, in truth, art the Most Powerful, the Self-Subsisting. Send down, moreover, upon him, O my God, the good of this world and of the next, and the good of the former and
latter generations. Thy might and Thy wisdom are, verily, equal unto this.”
(Bahá’u’lláh, Prayers and Meditations by Bahá’u’lláh, p.236)