Anger and frustration are normal when there are delays or uncertainties. Anger can also be an expression of fear. If you don’t express it, it tends to build up and the wrong person can be on the receiving end.
Guidance from your chosen belief
Christian perspective
A stay in hospital can be a frustrating experience. We may feel we are not receiving good enough care or that we have been badly treated. Such feelings can soon turn to anger; we can become ‘out of control’ and take out our frustrations, unfairly, on anyone who happens to be nearby. What should we do with such feelings?
- The Bible teaches us it is not wrong to be angry (see Jesus’ reaction in Matt 21:12-13)
- But we are not to let anger control us and do the wrong thing (Ephesians 4:26-27)
- We are called to control our feelings so that with God’s help we can do the right thing. (2 Corinthians 10:5)
- The best place to take your anger and frustration is to God in prayer. Ask God to help you and take care of the situation.
Muslim perspective
Islam teaches humility and discourages anger because it destroys relationships and creates distance between people. It not only affects other people, but it also affects the health of angry person as well.
The Prophet said “A strong person is not the one wrestles, but the one who controls himself in a fit of rage “
Rather than holding onto anger, Islam teaches love, to make bonds, to form relationships, to be positive. It encourages you not to degrade others, not to pass insults, and to avoid each and every word that hurts others or wounds their self-esteem.
The first part of healing is admitting that you have a problem. It is important to admit that you are angry, if even you feel ashamed and guilty about it, realise where it stems from and to look to your faith to help you to find peace.
Humanist perspective
There may well be good reason to be angry and frustrated and outside our usual environment with the added anxiety about ill health, these can be emotions that come to the fore. Expression of these human emotions allows others to see what you are feeling and help in supporting you. It is through our connections with others that we can share and resolve our feelings, rationalise the causes and recognise the challenges.
Sikh perspective
Spending time in hospital can be scary and frustrating, however it is important to remember that the Sri Guru Granth Sahib teaches us that anger can cause further ill health. Anger can come in the way of healing and people trying to support you will find it hard to help you. You might try help yourself by letting go of some anger. Yes, it’s a difficult time you are going through but remind yourself it won’t last forever.
Hindu perspective
Receiving unexpected news about health, living through uncertain times or experiencing delays can lead to anger and frustration. Anger disrupts your relationships with others and your own healing. The Shri Bhagwad Gita explains that the mind is superior to all senses and has the power to control your emotions. May you experience the divine powers that permeate our very being, that cure you of ill health and grant you everlasting peace. May the Shanti Mantra be a ray of hope and a magical remedy for all your problems and stresses. The Shanti Mantra invokes peace. When you chant this prayer, it flushes out your negative thoughts and released your pent-up anger and your frustrations. May your peace of mind be restored.
Buddhist perspective
Time in hospital, up close to illness and distress, maybe frightened or anxious can challenge us to remain calm. To avoid bad thoughts – to cultivate good – to cleanse one’s own mind – this is the teaching of the Buddha. May you overcome all difficulties – May you be protected – May you find comfort! May there be every blessing! May heavenly beings protect you! By the powers of the Buddhas, Dhammas and Sangha, may you find peace!
Jewish perspective
In a teaching attributed to Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook, when anger is a mode of life or when expressed in an unjustified manner, it is prohibited by Judaism. But if a person is wronged, he or she is allowed to express their natural feelings, including anger. Everyone can feel anger – even Moses is recorded on occasion giving way to his fury – and the issue in Judaism is more about how one deals with anger rather than should one feel it at all. Anger and frustration that are in response to overwhelming pain are perceived as natural and the person should not be held accountable. The classic source is that of the book of Job who suffered unjustly. Despite making clearly blasphemous statements (eg denying Divine Justice, denying Divine caring) he received no punishment for saying these things. From this that Talmud tells us that one is no held accountable for harsh words spoken out of pain and difficulty.
Pagan perspective
Staying in hospital, dealing with chronic ill health, or just the day to day of your life may lead to feelings of anger and frustration. While it may be normal to feel this way, that doesn’t mean that it’s okay to take it out on those around you. Remember the Rede: “An’ it harm none, do as you will.”
Do not push away the people around you who are trying to help because you’re angry and frustrated. Community is more important than ever at this time, so allow those around you to come close. Call upon your ancestors or the deities that you honour to help you release whatever is causing your problems and, opening your heart, allow yourself to find peace and happiness.
Jain perspective
Occurrence of a situation not of your liking leads to anger. Obstruction of your wishes causes frustration. Consider this as the effect of Karma. Keep control and chant Namokar Mantra to calm down.
Baha'i perspective
O thou who art tested with a great calamity! Be not grieved nor troubled because of the loss which hath befallen thee – a loss which caused the tears to flow, sighs to be produced, sorrow to exist and hearts to burn in great agony; but know, this hath reference only to the physical body, and if thou considerest this matter with a decerning and intelligent eye, thou wilt find that it hath no power whatsoever, for separation belongeth to the characteristics of the body. But concerning the spirit, know that thy pure son shall be with thee in the Kingdom of God and thou shalt witness his smiling face, illumined brow, handsome spirit and real happiness. Accordingly, thou wilt then be comforted and thank God for His favor upon thee.
(‘Abdu’l-Bahá, Tablets of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá v1, p.85-86)